Does everyone really need to know that?

Not every piece of information that is true automatically belongs everywhere. Sometimes it's right to keep something to yourself. Sometimes others need to know something. And sometimes it is not thewhether, but rather theHow, whom, and how muchthat matters.

How good is your instinct for that?

1. In the class WhatsApp group someone asks why Mia didn't join the trip today. You know the private reason from her mother. What do you do?

I write that Mia is not participating for personal reasons and that her family can decide for themselves whether to share more. I only write that Mia isn't attending today. If anything organizationally important arises, the family or the school can add it. I write that things are a bit difficult at Mia's home right now, but nothing dramatic has happened. I briefly explain the actual reason. Otherwise, false rumors might start.

2. A colleague had a panic attack shortly before a meeting and told you about it. The manager asks you why she cannot attend.

I say that she had a panic attack. After all, the manager is responsible for their employees. I say that she had to cancel at short notice for health reasons. I say that she confided something personal to me and cannot participate right now. I say that she is unable to attend at short notice, and I immediately clarify who will take over her responsibilities in the meeting.

3. A friend told you that she is pregnant but doesn't want to make it public yet. At a shared meal someone asks why she isn't drinking wine.

I say: 'She can tell you herself if she wants to.' I say that she doesn't tolerate alcohol very well at the moment. I simply say that I don't know. I say that she is pregnant, but explicitly ask everyone not to share it yet.

4. At a children's birthday party, a child reacts unusually sensitively and begins to cry. You know that his parents are currently separating. Another father asks you what's wrong with the child.

I explain the separation. That way he can better understand the behavior. I say that the child is currently going through a difficult phase at home. I say that a lot seems to be coming together today and that I'd leave anything further to the family. I don't address the reason at all and instead take care to ensure the child is okay right now.

5. Before a children's birthday party, the host asks the parents' group about food intolerances. You know that one child has a severe nut allergy.

I write the name and allergy directly in the group. With a severe allergy, openness is more important than privacy. I say nothing. You must not share others' health information. I write that a child has a serious allergy without naming the child. I contact the family or the host directly so the necessary information can be clarified.

6. A colleague is absent due to fertility treatment. She told you the reason privately. The team is asking why she's not there on several mornings.

I explain the actual reason. Otherwise it might seem as if she always has special appointments. I say that she has private appointments at those times and is therefore unavailable. I say that she currently has to attend several medical appointments. I say that there are important personal reasons and the absences have been arranged.

7. A friend tells you he's currently having major financial problems. Your group of friends is planning a fairly expensive weekend shortly after.

I tell the group that he's currently in financial difficulty so that no one pressures him. I simply suggest a cheaper option without mentioning his reason. I first ask him whether and how his situation should be taken into account in the planning. I say generally that maybe not everyone wants to spend that much money on the weekend.

8. In a neighborhood group, several people are puzzled by the unusual behavior of an elderly neighbor. You know her health background.

I won't mention the diagnosis and will simply ask that her behavior not be judged prematurely. I explain her diagnosis. That will probably help others understand better why she behaves that way. I only say that health reasons may play a role and that people should therefore be a bit more considerate. I write that she is not mentally fully there at the moment and that people should therefore overlook some things.

9. A relative is in the hospital. He told you medical details but only wants the family to know that he is doing okay so far. In the family chat, people are asking for details.

I summarize which examinations were done. That will probably reassure the family. I write that he is well cared for and will get in touch himself if he wants to tell more. I write nothing about his condition as a precaution. I write that investigations are still underway and that more details will come later.

10. You notice that a colleague accidentally sent a file containing personal customer data to the wrong recipient.

I speak about it only with the colleague. The fewer people who find out, the better. I write to the team that there may be a data protection issue and that everyone should check their emails. I inform a responsible manager and initially limit myself to the necessary information. I report the incident specifically to the appropriate authority and provide the facts necessary for the review.

11. A child tells you that they were threatened by an older student. They explicitly ask you not to tell anyone about it.

I keep my promise. Otherwise the child might not tell me anything next time. I write in the parents' group so that everyone is especially attentive. I explain to the child why I need to involve an appropriate adult, and only pass on the necessary information. I first ask some other parents whether their children have told them something similar.

12. A friend sends you a pretty funny message privately. You would like to show the content in another group.

I ask him beforehand if that is okay with him. I black out his name and then forward the screenshot. I only forward it to a single person whom I really trust. I tell the story in a paraphrased and anonymized way, without showing the screenshot.

13. At a party a very funny photo of a friend was taken, in which he clearly looks drunk.

I only post it for my "close friends." After all, the group is small. I only send the photo privately to the people who are visible in the picture. I post it. The party was big and, after all, others also took photos. If I want to publish it, I first ask him whether the photo is alright with him.

14. A colleague told you that she applied internally for another position. The team is speculating who might possibly leave the department.

I only tell one colleague whom I know to be very discreet. I don't take part in the speculation and let the colleague decide for herself when she wants to share something. I only say that, in fact, someone from the team is considering a change. I name her, but explicitly ask that it stays within the team.

15. Your sister lost her job and initially told you about it only in private. At the family dinner someone asks why she has recently had so much free time during the day.

I let her decide for herself what she wants to tell about it. I invent a harmless explanation so that the matter is dealt with quickly. I say that something is currently changing in her professional life, and leave the rest to her. I say that she has lost her job, but make it clear that this should not become a big issue.

16. A club member told you privately that they cannot pay the annual fee in full at the moment and need an installment plan. The treasurer asks you why the payment is still missing.

I explain that the person is currently experiencing financial difficulties and therefore needs an installment plan. I simply say that there are currently difficulties with the payment. I say that the person would like to be contacted directly regarding a payment arrangement and that the details should be clarified there. I say that personal reasons are behind it and that the matter will probably be resolved.

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Does everyone really need to know that?

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